Thursday, October 30, 2008

"Quoth the Raven, "Eat my shorts!"

This is still the absolute best interpretation of this classic work.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

"I am so dang Totally Awesome that satan encourages his angles to fight me every where he can as I am one of his greatest enemies."

Utah seems to be a haven for crazy politicians. We've got folks like Chris Buttars, Greg Hughes, and many more. Therefore, I shouldn't be surprised that we can produce what is quite possibly, the best candidate for governor ever seen in the history of our great state: Dell Schanze. This man has taken Utah politics to a new level, and I for one, invite his candidacy. His positions put into stark relief how utterly normal our current Governor is. Here are a few quotes from his website:

1.
The vast majority of media in Utah is controlled by satan.

2.
I'm SUPERDELL; don't even allow the dark side to put a spark of doubt as to my
intentions and goodness.

3.
The vast majority of Utah wants lower energy costs; running cars on water is
legit and proven, I'm the candidate that will pull Huntsman out of our gas holes
and I believe I can lower energy costs by at least 90%. You have no choice but
to vote for me.
I also took the title of this post from his website - verbatim. There are a number of errors, including capitalization, grammar, and word juxtaposition, all of which I left in place for your benefit!

I also encourage you to read his official statement from the voter information pamphlet because apparently, even according to SuperDell, I would be a better governor than him. Is there anything he isn't right about?