Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"Who is the biggest loser in this room?" "Raise your hand, Ed!"

I am not an attractive person. I think the celebrity I look most like is Rimmer from "Red Dwarf":
Nevertheless, through the use of guile and flattery, I convinced an attractive woman to marry me. I assume that the reason we're still married is because she hasn't figured out how ugly I really am.

Whenever anyone meets my wife or sees a picture of her, their first comment is, "She's very beautiful" or something to that effect. Normally, I would appreciate such a comment because in my opinion, she is very beautiful. However, when most people say that, they say it with an air of surprise. It's as if they were saying, "Wow, she's a lot more beautiful than I expected for someone as hideously ugly as you." Well, you may be right, but for the love of pete don't tell her! I don't have a job yet, so at least wait until I can buy her love. Then tell her whatever you want.

2 comments:

Kirsten said...

That's an entertaining idea. I always strongly believe you should marry someone at least close to as attractive as you. That's how I know when I'm not going to marry people I'm dating - they're either more or less good looking than myself. I guess you just lucked out.

John said...

But you are missing an important part of the psychology of attraction; (did you not pay attention to this most important chapter in Coburn's class?) namely that there can be aspects that mitigate an uneven level of attractiveness. Money is usually what comes to mind, but kindness, the ability not to sound like a complete idiot, and being well physically endowed can all change the importance of attractiveness based solely on looks.
It's a good thing that your wife was able to hang around you for a while so she could see the half-decent parts hiding underneath your face before you started dating.