"It's hard not to listen to TV. It's spent so much more time raising us than you."

I have occasionally imagined a world in which forced sterilization is commonplace. Where the powers that be tell certain people that they are entirely unfit to have and raise children. I imagine this world with fewer social ills, fewer mullets, and fewer little girls named "McCambren" (meaning son of Cambren). Of course, in my fantasy the process by which people are chosen for sterilization is perfectly just and perfectly administered - by me. Unfortunately, as ruler of the world, my busy schedule of smacking morons upside the head and watching the entire population of sub-Saharan Africa perform the hit song, "Na na na na na na na na Leader!" will preclude me from evaluating the fitness of every single person on the planet. Alas, it must remain a dream.

However, that doesn't mean that I can't do my best to help the current stock of should-be-steriles to not totally screw up the rising generation (after all, they will be responsible for paying my Social Security). So turn off "Junior" and pay attention for 2 minutes.

Parents should not abdicate their responsibility for raising their children. They should not expect grandparents, schools, prisons, the state, the Feds, or anyone else to adequately teach their children what they need to know to be functioning members of society. Since you had sex without taking the necessary precautions, you have the responsibility to ensure that your kid doesn't grow up to be the next Hitler, or worse, the SOB that abuses their power in a low-level customer service position.

This abdication is becoming widespread. The latest example that I've seen was a hot topic this Halloween: risque costumes. Pundits and blowhards everywhere were making a big deal of so-called "prosti-tot" costumes, or slutty costumes for young girls. I'm guessing that the logic of their complaint is that because stores sell these costumes, they have to buy them. They want the stores or the government or somebody to tell Target, Wal-Mart, et al. to pull the costumes from their shelves. I have a much better solution that will also help you to be a better parent: Don't buy those costumes! Nowhere does it say that you have to buy something simply because it is offered to you. If you don't want your child wearing those awful costumes, don't buy them. This will have a two-pronged effect. First, the costume will not be available for your child to wear, so they can wear something better. Second, as consumers (you) stop buying products, retailers (stores) stop selling them. This is an example of supply and demand - the first law of economics. (K - correct me if I am wrong.)

Parents, please, please, please don't expect other people to raise your children. Other people are dumber than you. You are the big person and big people are in charge. If you don't want your child doing something, if all else fails, you can physically pick them up and prevent them from doing it. Remember that. You don't need to abuse them, but you are in charge. Not the government, not your parents, not the teacher at school - you. Parenting is the most important thing you can do in your life and you are robbing yourself and your child if you don't do it.

Just to reiterate: Other people are stupid, don't expect them to raise your children. You do it.

(If you're having trouble understanding this concept, please follow this helpful link.)