"Is this far enough, Master?" "Until the road dead ends."

I recently received an email from Microsoft about my XBox Live membership. I always enjoy getting these emails because they start, "Dear Lawjerk..." It reminds me that I am an overgrown man-child. Anyway, Microsoft wrote to inform me that XBox Live is going to include much more awesome stuff, like Hulu Plus, ESPN on demand, and so forth. Because these features are being added, and because it has become so much more than a gaming network, Microsoft states that it must increase the monthly membership fee by about $1.00.

Once again, Microsoft has proven itself very capable at screwing over its customers while simultaneously demanding more. I couldn't care less if XBox Live offered these other services, they suck. I tried Netflix for awhile, but the selection of streaming movies is so bad that I could only find a handful that I even kind of wanted to see. On top of that, all of these other services charge monthly fees above and beyond the XBox Live subscription fee. So, what Microsoft is offering is that we pay more to them so we can pay more to third parties for using their crap. But, because I have to subscribe to be able to play Halo online, I'm stuck paying it. I feel much like Carl under the influence of his own hypno-rims - being self-sodomized by a broomstick while thanking my tormentors for the experience. (See the quote above.)

Despite my anger and objections, I will likely continue to pay the subscription fee (especially since my brother and brother-in-law recently obtained accounts) and thank my lucky stars that I don't have to own a PlayStation, because the PS3 is really, really dumb.